Tag: mentalhealth

The Power of Addiction

by Kristen Hall

“One of the hardest lessons I learned was that I was worth recovery.”

Demi Lovato

The term addiction is not a one size fits all kind of term, which is why many people need multiple rounds of treatment in order to truly begin sobriety.

For some, their addiction may be to a chemical or drug. This would be considered a substance dependence.

For others, their addiction may be gambling or eating. This would be a behavioral addiction.

Either way, addiction at its root is defined as “is a psychological and physical inability to stop consuming a chemical, drug, activity, or substance, even though it is causing psychological and physical harm.” *

Those who are caught in the midst of addiction struggle on a daily basis with overcoming the demons that got them there in the first place. Most people start voluntarily, but each time it becomes harder and harder to overcome the physical and mental pull addiction has. Self-control slowly diminishes as the person tries to “medicate” their body. The power of addiction is so strong that it is a leading cause of death in our country.

Addiction is like that friend you wish you never had. It gave you what you thought you wanted and then began to take everything from you.

The key to recovery is wanting it, and wanting it more than your addiction. Sometimes that can take years. Or other times, one addiction can manifest into another.

I am one of those people who struggle with an addictive personality. While I might recover from one addiction, I often find another to take its place – especially in times of distress.

The addictive pattern started in the form of cutting when I was a young 13 years old. I thought if I could take that pain I was feeling and put it somewhere else like in a physical wound, it would make more sense to me. This distorted thinking lasted for a while. Working with a therapist, I was able to stop and found other healthy ways to manage my stress.

However, shortly after, while trying to loss a few pounds, I got stuck in that addictive mindset again and a full blown eating disorder shortly followed.

Each time I tried to recover from one addiction, another one set in. Many people do not know the full extent I suffered because I have never disclosed it.

If I were to map out my addictions, it would look something like this:
13 yrs old – Cutting
16 yrs old – Anorexia
18 yrs old – Bulimia
21 yrs old – Drinking
28 yrs old – Physical Self-Harm and Pills
29 yrs old – Binge Eating

Looking back at this timeline, it is disturbing for me. It makes me feel horrible, which is generally what most recovering addicts feel while in recovery. It is almost like a cycle. The guilt can be consuming, which makes you want to go back to what soothed you.

The key is positive and factual self-talk – reminding yourself that the future is a blank slate and that you are in control. Yes, it might be an everyday struggle for a while – and it is definitely easier said than done. But, just like in real life – boundaries can be set.

You need to know you are worth recovery. You are worth a life beyond addiction. While this can be a hard fact to digest, saying it outloud and matter of fact, can actually fight those inner demons telling you “you are worthless.”

The power of addiction will always try to pull the person back into its cycle. It is a long journey, but it is not hopeless. A lot of organizations can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please know help is available.

*Medical News Today, “What is Addiction?”

#addiction #recovery #addictionrecovery #sobriety #love #mentalhealth #sober #soberlife #depression #addict #rehab #wedorecover #anxiety #recoveryispossible #soberliving #motivation #alcoholism #mentalhealthawareness #onedayatatime #alcoholicsanonymous #addicted #aa #addictionawareness #drugs #healing #support #steps #therapy #health #bhfyp

Dear Me: I forgive you.

by Kristen Hall

Sometimes in order to heal, we have to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and mistakes. The hard part is “how”.

In my experience, the first step is acknowledging whatever it is that is keeping you stuck. That moment in time doesn’t have to be acknowledged to anyone but yourself. It just has to be present so that you can finally move forward.

Let yourself feel the feeling you don’t want to feel. It is easy to numb the pain. However, by numbing your emotions, you do not allow yourself to heal. Feeling – while uncomfortable at times – allows you to grow and gain resilience.

Once you acknowledge the event and allow yourself to truly feel the emotions that come with it, it is time to let it go. Close your eyes, and picture that horrible feeling in a balloon. See yourself holding that balloon and then letting it slip away into the universe – never to be seen again.

Below is the message that was inside my imaginery balloon:

Dear Me,

Two and half years ago you were a hot mess. You were so focused on saving someone else’s life that you forgot your own self-worth, and ultimately the destruction that it was doing to your own life. I know you were in pain and just trying to stay afloat, but I was mad at you for that unrecognizable person you had become in order to juggle your pain .

Yet – at the same time – I have begun to realize how hard I was on you; you needed someone to be cheering you on, not someone tearing you down. I beat us up more than anyone ever could.

I forgive you for the mistakes you made and I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry you felt like you desperately had to fix others, when your own hands were bleeding. I’m sorry I did not love you the way you deserved to be loved. I realize I caused our own destruction by not seeing self-care as a priority.

I promise to do a better job at putting you first, especially at times when I am feeling too much of my surroundings.

It’s time and I’m ready.

#selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #forgiveness #wellbeing #instagood #threads #bhfyp

30 Years: 30 Life Lessons

by Kristen Hall

It’s crazy to think I am thirty years old – not because I think it is an old age, but rather because time is going so insanely fast. One moment we are all graduating high school and the next, everyone is settling down in their careers and building a family of their own.

To celebrate this monumental age, I wanted to share thirty lessons I have learned along the way. Some I wish I had known (or come to realize) sooner!

Hint: You might recognize some of these lessons as topics of previous blog posts.

  1. Mindset is everything. A negative mindset will keep you from reaching your full potential in life. A positive mindset will make you unstoppable! Force yourself to challenge your thoughts, and say positive things to yourself like you would to a friend.
  2. Friends come, and friends go. Life is always evolving. Some people may be here for a season or some for a lifetime. Either way, chances are there is a lesson attached.
  3. Change is always possible. Never settle. You are never stuck if you don’t want to be.
  4. Toxic is toxic. Set boundaries for yourself and keep them.
  5. Stop comparing yourself to others. Each of us have different experiences in life that make up who we are. Your path is unique to you.
  6. Be transparent. Be real. Share your story with others, even if it is scary. You never know who you may inspire.
  7. Fall seven times, get up eight. Keep going.
  8. Self-love and compassion are essential.
  9. Be around like-minded people and people who share the same vision as you.
  10. Don’t rush time. Time goes fast. Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones.
  11. Be mindful who you take advice from.
  12. Learn to take constructive criticism so that you are able to grow.
  13. Be open-minded. Try to see situations from all angles.
  14. Feel your emotions, don’t run from them. When you try to numb pain, it just manifests into something negative. Allow yourself to feel and heal from what is hurting you.
  15. Love the people that support you.
  16. Time helps to heal. It doesn’t erase memories; it just makes them easier to grasp.
  17. Complaining about everything will not help solve your problems.
  18. Never work for money, work for your passion.
  19. Take educated risks. Do your research, but do not be afraid to change things up.
  20. Work out to make your body stronger, not because you feel like you have to look a certain way.
  21. Do some type of personal growth daily – whether it is reading, journaling, yoga, etc.
  22. Gossiping is useless and hurtful. Challenge yourself not to engage in it.
  23. Listen more, talk less.
  24. Speak up for yourself and for those you love.
  25. Travel – see how differently the world is beyond your world.
  26. Give back to the community, whether it is charity work or fundraisers. Think beyond just you.
  27. Worry less about what others think and worry more about what God has placed on your heart.
  28. Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.
  29. Don’t worry so much about the past. It is done and over with. You can’t go back – you can only make this moment and beyond count.
  30. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. Happiness comes from within.

#selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #skincareroutine #wellbeing #instagood #threads #massage #bhfyp #life #lessons

Judgement – Who is Judging Who

by Kristen Hall

“People will judge you no matter what you do. So you might as well do what you want.”

Unknown

Raise your hand if you ever remember feeling “judged” for something you did, a comment you said, or a decision you made? 🙋‍♀️

I think it is safe to say, we have all been there.

Sometimes these judgements are real and other times they are stories we make up in our own heads. Fact – human beings are judgemental creatures. But, remember, their base of judgement is rooted from how they view the world. It has nothing to do with you.

Each human is different, made up of their own experiences and values that tell them how the world should be. That does not mean everything they believe is correct. If we constantly worry about how others will perceive us, we will STOP ourselves from becoming the very person we were meant to become. Opportunities that could open up the world for us will never blossom because we didn’t even allow ourselves to open the door.

Here’s the truth – 75% of the time, the judgements we feel are thoughts we made up and told ourselves to believe. I say that because EVERYONE is worried about being judged – to the point where they are mainly thinking about how others are perceiving them. They are not worried about you as much as you feel like they are.

We spend hours criticizing ourselves, when they spend – what – like a second thinking about us regarding something that has no truth attached to it?

It is easy to get paralyzed with fear in hopes of fitting in or being accepted by others. But here’s the catch – others do not get to define who we are; WE define who we are.

Yes, I’m weird. I’m quirky. I’m a Philly Sports phanatic, not girly girl. I am a homebody who loves her fur babies, and I am definitely not a partier. I enjoy board games and being at the beach. I love helping people and I believe that I am here for a bigger purpose than just me. Not all these statements I like about myself, but I am learning to accept them because that is who God made me to be.

People will always have opinions and that is their right. But YOU get to decide how YOU show up each and every day. Are you going to hold yourself back because of your perceived opinion or others’ perceived opinions? Or are you going to push through and show others what’s possible when you just go for it and be you?

Show them what it means to be you. Live your life on your terms. Don’t let other opinions define who you are. Then start a ripple effect – try your best to judge people a little less because you know what it is like to feel judged yourself.

I guarantee you will inspire people without even knowing about it. So go out, BE BOLD, BE YOU.

#judgement #keepgoing #motivation #holistic #mentalhealth #fear #anxiety #depression #strength #courage #strong #inspiration #health #healthymind

The Truth About Being an Empath

by Kristen Hall

“When empaths absorb the impact of stressful emotions, it can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis from fatigue to agorophobia.”

Judith Orloff, M.D.

Growing up, I was always told I was “emotional” or “overly sensitive”. While I knew wholeheartedly this was true, the comments would make me feel like something was wrong with me. I hated crying at the drop of a hat and feeling overwhelmed so easily. But, at the same time, I knew I had a gift of helping people. Being emotional allowed me to connect with people; I could empathize easily and be there for others who needed a shoulder to cry on.

I spent years not really understanding this gift/curse; that was until I came across the definition of an empath. According to Dr. Orloff, a psychiatrist and empath herself, an empathic person is someone who “feel(s) everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings.” She states that, “intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners.” I remember thinking, “wow, okay… I guess I’m not weird after all.” I honestly had thought there was something wrong that I could feel ten times more than the normal person. This definition is basically me in a nutshell.

Now, while being an empath has allowed me to help others (like all of you reading my blog!), the downside has been the following:

  1. Overwhelmed by large crowds. Too many emotions at once.
  2. I have to have my down time in the day to decompress.
  3. I am a homebody. It is my safe zone.
  4. If someone is distraught, I start feeling distraught. My heart breaks as if it is me.
  5. Yelling terrifies me.

Stating these things make me feel vulnerable right now, but I feel like it is important to convey. For empathic people, negative behavior is often a result of “the impact of stressful emotions” if boundaries are not set in place. It can “trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis from fatigue to agorophobia.”

It is a fantastic feeling to have endless amount of love and compassion. But it can easily become draining if I do not take care of myself. That is why I put so much emphasis on self-care now. Most people I find have a hard time understanding why I am the way I am and WHY I need to put up boundaries. I mean, I don’t blame them – I find myself questioning it myself sometimes.

If you are an empath like me, it is important to find your inner peace – whether that is yoga, meditation, writing, or something else. You will drain yourself taking care of others if you do not recharge. Also know, you are not alone. There are many of us empaths out there going through the same struggle! Honor your gift, but also know when it’s time to take a step back. It does not in any way mean you are a bad person. It means you are human.

#empath #lightworker #love #spirituality #meditation #healing #selflove #spiritual #narcissisticabuse #awakening #intuitive #spiritualawakening #introvert #narcissist #tarot #infj #empathproblems #selfcare #hsp #lawofattraction #life #intuition #energy #thirdeye #quotes #mentalhealth #empaths #gaslighting #consciousness #bhfyp

Friends Come and Friends Go

by Kristen Hall

“As I get older, I am becoming more selective of who I consider a friend. I find that I would rather have four quarters than 100 pennies”

Unknown

One of the hardest things about life is “change”. It is unavoidable and honestly a natural occurrence here on Earth. As you travel throughout the different phases of your life, your surroundings also change. People in your life may move, pass away, or just continue on a journey that is different from yours. One of my biggest challenges has been letting people go. Since I was a young girl, I always wanted to be the girl that everybody liked, the girl who was kind to all, and the one who never let anyone down. To some degree, I still feel this way.

But — can I say — how unrealistic this is? No matter what you do, you cannot make everyone happy. And honestly if you try, you will be burnt out and anxiety ridden. It has taken me a long time to realize this and I fight this concept in my head almost everyday.

About two years, I lost about 3-4 close friends if not more. I was at the lowest point in my life. I couldn’t take care of anyone anymore because I could barely take care of myself. And for some people, this is a complete deal breaker especially if they are going through something similar in their own life. My marriage was failing, I was verbally abused daily, I recently miscarried, and I felt stuck – I could not see how to pull myself out of the misery. I became a person I didn’t even know anymore. I started drinking heavily, not eating, getting high on anxiety meds, and doing basically anything destructive to run from my life. I was too scared of what was on the other side, even though I really had nothing to lose. I literally went day to day wishing I could run away or just not live life anymore. I had a couple close friends at the time that then slowly disappeared because they “could not handle my shit” – and yes I was really told that. It broke me in ways I cannot describe because the last thing I wanted was to be considered a selfish person. But honestly, in that time I needed to be selfish to get my shit together. I wasn’t me anymore.

Once I started to find myself again, I went back to my friends who had distanced themselves at the time. I wanted to try to mend things. Unfortunately, those relationships were unmendable in most circumstances.

I don’t blame them necessarily, which I’m sure will surprise you because it surprised me! But, bottom line is this — We all need to protect ourselves FIRST and foremost. Now to the classic plane scenario to prove my point. When there is turbulence on a plane, the flight attendant tells you to put the mask on yourself first before attempting to mask another. That is because you need to be able to breathe clearly if you are going to be any use to someone else.

In retrospect, we are all human so I would be lying if I said it was hard not to take this personally. My heart felt so empty. I blamed myself for the longest time. Then one day, I decided to #1 acknowledge what happened #2 admit there were times I was wrong and #3 forgive myself for something I could not go back and change.

The thing to remember is there is a purpose for every person you meet – whether they stay for a season, a couple days, or a lifetime. At the end of the day, you cannot make someone see something they don’t want to see. You also can’t force an apology down someone’s throat. All you can do is put your heart out there, apologize, and move on. Trust the process. And whether they are in your life or not, the most important thing to do for your own sanity and heart is to wish them well.

#friendship #movingon #friends #hardtimes #change #life #motivation #inspiration #strength #inspirational #motivational #yoga #affirmations #mindfullness #mentalhealth #endthestigma #wellnesswarrior #wellness #wellnessadvocate #wellnessmatters #reachout #mentalhealthawareness #youarenotalone #mentalhealthblog #mhbloggers #mhblogger #mhblog #recovery #selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #skincareroutine #wellbeing #instagood #threads #massage #bhfyp