Author: Kristen Hall

The Holidays Without a Loved One

by Kristen Hall

“Those we love never truly leave us. There are things death cannot touch.”Jack Thorne

Rewind time back to 2010 – the year my dad died and the first set of holidays without him by our side. Each day that passed was challenging, let alone a group of holidays which seemed so empty. My dad was a staple of the these special family days, especially Christmas. Some of the things I remember are the massive breakfasts he would make Christmas morning, as well as him setting up the video recorder the night before to tape us unwrapping each of our gifts.

These are memories that will never fade. Cancer cannot take these memories from me, like it took my dad. But, sometimes these memories, can hurt and be debilitating because they are just that – memories. I cannot go hug my dad Christmas morning and thank him for everything he has done. And this – no matter how many years go by – is still hard to overcome. The emptiness never fully goes away. It is just something you learn to manage.

It took years to get here but now I try to picture my dad here at Christmas, just in a different form. I see him sitting in the living room with a huge smile on his face watching us with joy. While we cannot communicate or hold each other, he nods to us acknowledging his presence. He is now an angel that overlooks us, keeping us safe and together. He would be so proud of how far we have all come.

If you know someone who has lost a loved one this year, check on them – call them, send them a letter, text them a simple “love you!” message. Most likely they are not okay. It takes years to learn how to manage that emptiness.

If you are the one who lost someone, whether it was this year or not, it is important to acknowledge how you feel and then do something about it. Celebrate your loved one in a way that will be healing to you. I went to visit my dad’s grave and I also wrote letters to him. Maybe you make a special ornament or you plant a tree in their honor. Whatever it is, make it memorable and don’t be afraid to say you need support. It is okay to hurt, just don’t let it consume you. Your loved one would not want that for you.

#loss #lossofaparent #christmas #grief #loss #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefquotes #grieving #mentalhealth #love #childloss #depression #stillborn #lifeafterloss #death #bereavement #anxiety #support #selfcare #griefsucks #griefawareness #healing #griefwork #bhfyp

Heartbreak City: How to Ease Your Pain

by Kristen Hall

You are strong enough to face it all, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

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Break-ups can be heart wrenching and take a toll on every aspect of your life if you let it. No matter what anyone says, it is not that easy to just “move forward” or “let it go”, especially if your whole heart was invested in the relationship.

Whether you are the one who got broke up with or you are the one to say “I’m done”, it can take weeks, months, or even years to feel like you again.

About two years ago, I decided to end a ten year relationship with my husband whom I had been married to for four years. He and I had met freshman year in college and had basically grown up together, making that transition from college kid to an adult. That bond is hard to just break no matter what the circumstances because he wasn’t just my husband, he was my best friend. Even writing this, I’m tearing up – that goes to show you that heartbreaks even years later still hurt.

I spent months knowing my marriage was in a hole, but going back and forth as to what I wanted to do. I knew I wasn’t happy and that he wasn’t happy, but I was not okay with ending a marriage I committed to for life. It literally broke me – and by “it”, I mean the actual ending of the relationship, as well as the issues between us.

Three months later of living separate lives, I filed for divorce. In those months, I was very self-destructive because my whole world was turned upside down.

This behavior ended the day I signed the divorce papers. I was still in an enormous amount of pain, but I chose to take out my emotions in a different way.

I decided to actually focus on myself, in a healthy way. I told myself no matter what happened or what was about to happen, God had me here for a reason and to self-destruct was not it. Below are the strategies/activities that helped me overcome those difficult moments and helped rebuild my life:

  1. Workouts at the gym, either solo or with a friend. I went about five times a week. Nothing crazy, but I would blast out my music while walking/running on the treadmill and lifting weights.
  2. Yoga. This was great in quieting my mind and helping me listen to my inner self.
  3. Pedicures/Manicures. This one seems silly, but I never really spent money on myself – always on bills. Being able to get my nails done every three weeks or so was nice!
  4. Writing. I wrote letters to get my feelings out and also journaled quite a bit.
  5. Painting/Crafting. I would go to any “Sip and Wine” events and I also picked up knitting again. If you are on a budget, there are a ton of dollar store crafts you can google/youtube.
  6. Binge watch a funny sitcom. For me, Friends is always my go-to.
  7. Self-help books/blogs/podcasts. Anything that was uplifting and positive.
  8. Essential oils – Lavender in particular. Helps calm down your body through your senses.
  9. Make plans with your friends. It can be hard with everyone’s work schedules, but reach out purposely.
  10. Start a side business or focus. For me, I got more focused on helping others through my Arbonne business. This took my mind off of the negative.
  11. Create a vision board. Cut out phrases and pictures of what you want you life to look like. Make a board, and make it happen.
  12. Get outside! Go for a walk, take in your surroundings and the beauty of nature.
  13. Join a support group at a local church or organization. Meet new people who are similar to you.
  14. Make a gratitude list of everything you are grateful for. It will help keep things in perspective, especially when you feel like you have nothing.
  15. Temporarily disconnect from social media. Social media, whether through Instagram or Facebook, tends to give people the impression that others have it all together. This is FAR from true. Things might look perfect on someone’s page, but that is anything but the truth. You don’t know what is going on behind closed doors. Don’t let this “image” make you feel bad about your life.
  16. Lastly, don’t compare yourself to others. Your journey in life it not meant to look like someone else’s. I used to get upset seeing another person pregnant or thriving with success. And you know what? That is such a waste of energy and time. Wish others happiness and do not compare.

#breakup #love #breakupquotes #sad #lovequotes #heartbroken #heartbreak #poetry #heartbreakquotes #quotes #missyou #relationship #gf #relationships #dil #instalove #husbandandwife #sadqoutes #loveyou #attitudequotes #cutecouples #babulove #brokenheart #broken #bhfyp #inspiration #selfhelp #blogger #motivation #healthyliving #divorce #loveyourself #breakups #follow #ex #depression #lovers #sadquotes #instagram #feelings #hurt #instagood #like #tiktok #breakupmemes #quote #funny #relationshipquotes #relationshipgoals #pain #narcissist #memes #anxiety #quotesaboutlife #narcissisticabuse #lifequotes

My Anxiety has Anxiety

by Kristen Hall

“This too shall pass.”

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Sweating. Heart racing. Can’t breathe. Hands are shaking. Thoughts are bouncing. What the fuck?!

Welcome to the world of anxiety, my friends. It sucks!

If you have anxiety, you know it is a very physical and mental struggle. Your body begins to have its own reaction while it seems like your mind doesn’t slow down. There have been times my anxiety has been so bad, that I hyperventilate and cry hysterically in a corner until the feeling begins to lessen.

And the worst part? Anything can be a trigger. Being in a room full of a ton of people can be a trigger. Having a deadline could be a trigger. Running late could be a trigger. Anxiety truly differs from person to person.

When I can, I try to talk myself out of if or distract myself long enough to help the physical symptoms dissipate.

To be specific, I use affirmations and mindfulness techniques that I learned in DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). It is the only type of therapy that helped me from overthinking and therefore being more realistic about my thoughts.

The key is to be present. That means being attentive to what is going on right now without judgement, without overthinking, without invalidating what you are feeling. Yoga is an excellent practice for this. It sounds simple, but it is often very challenging to be present and slow down your thoughts. Sometimes it helps to bring it back to the present – what do you see? what do hear? what can you feel?

The other helpful practice of DBT for me was “radical acceptance” – accepting what is and and not harping on the unpleasant situation. For example: You may find yourself rushing to get to work because you are late. Instead of getting frustrated you are hitting every red light and begin cursing up a storm, try saying “It is what it is. I’ll get there when you get there” — because guess what? That is reality, you can’t fight it.

When it comes to the technique of self-talk, here are ten affirmations you can try:
1. This is only temporary.
2. Anxiety does not define me.
3. I am not alone.
4. I am safe.
5. I am in control of my thoughts and my life.
6. I have made it through before, I will make it through again.
7. I get stronger each time overcome my fears.
8. This too shall pass.
9. I am prepared for change. I am strong.
10. I release any doubts or fears.

There is no exact solution when it comes to Anxiety. Everyone is different; what works for one person may not work for another.

However becoming aware of your feelings and being present with them is an important first step in releasing that negative energy into the abyss. Remind yourself: “I am strong and, just like before, I can overcome this“. You don’t have to live in fear.

#anxiety #fear #dbt #strength #inspirational #motivational #yoga #affirmations #mindfullness #mentalhealth #endthestigma #wellnesswarrior #wellness #wellnessadvocate #wellnessmatters #reachout #mentalhealthawareness #youarenotalone #mentalhealthblog #mhbloggers #mhblogger #mhblog #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietyrecovery #anxietysupport #anxietyfighter #anxietytips #anxietydisorders #recovery

Friends Come and Friends Go

by Kristen Hall

“As I get older, I am becoming more selective of who I consider a friend. I find that I would rather have four quarters than 100 pennies”

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One of the hardest things about life is “change”. It is unavoidable and honestly a natural occurrence here on Earth. As you travel throughout the different phases of your life, your surroundings also change. People in your life may move, pass away, or just continue on a journey that is different from yours. One of my biggest challenges has been letting people go. Since I was a young girl, I always wanted to be the girl that everybody liked, the girl who was kind to all, and the one who never let anyone down. To some degree, I still feel this way.

But — can I say — how unrealistic this is? No matter what you do, you cannot make everyone happy. And honestly if you try, you will be burnt out and anxiety ridden. It has taken me a long time to realize this and I fight this concept in my head almost everyday.

About two years, I lost about 3-4 close friends if not more. I was at the lowest point in my life. I couldn’t take care of anyone anymore because I could barely take care of myself. And for some people, this is a complete deal breaker especially if they are going through something similar in their own life. My marriage was failing, I was verbally abused daily, I recently miscarried, and I felt stuck – I could not see how to pull myself out of the misery. I became a person I didn’t even know anymore. I started drinking heavily, not eating, getting high on anxiety meds, and doing basically anything destructive to run from my life. I was too scared of what was on the other side, even though I really had nothing to lose. I literally went day to day wishing I could run away or just not live life anymore. I had a couple close friends at the time that then slowly disappeared because they “could not handle my shit” – and yes I was really told that. It broke me in ways I cannot describe because the last thing I wanted was to be considered a selfish person. But honestly, in that time I needed to be selfish to get my shit together. I wasn’t me anymore.

Once I started to find myself again, I went back to my friends who had distanced themselves at the time. I wanted to try to mend things. Unfortunately, those relationships were unmendable in most circumstances.

I don’t blame them necessarily, which I’m sure will surprise you because it surprised me! But, bottom line is this — We all need to protect ourselves FIRST and foremost. Now to the classic plane scenario to prove my point. When there is turbulence on a plane, the flight attendant tells you to put the mask on yourself first before attempting to mask another. That is because you need to be able to breathe clearly if you are going to be any use to someone else.

In retrospect, we are all human so I would be lying if I said it was hard not to take this personally. My heart felt so empty. I blamed myself for the longest time. Then one day, I decided to #1 acknowledge what happened #2 admit there were times I was wrong and #3 forgive myself for something I could not go back and change.

The thing to remember is there is a purpose for every person you meet – whether they stay for a season, a couple days, or a lifetime. At the end of the day, you cannot make someone see something they don’t want to see. You also can’t force an apology down someone’s throat. All you can do is put your heart out there, apologize, and move on. Trust the process. And whether they are in your life or not, the most important thing to do for your own sanity and heart is to wish them well.

#friendship #movingon #friends #hardtimes #change #life #motivation #inspiration #strength #inspirational #motivational #yoga #affirmations #mindfullness #mentalhealth #endthestigma #wellnesswarrior #wellness #wellnessadvocate #wellnessmatters #reachout #mentalhealthawareness #youarenotalone #mentalhealthblog #mhbloggers #mhblogger #mhblog #recovery #selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #skincareroutine #wellbeing #instagood #threads #massage #bhfyp

Miscarriages are a BITCH!

Featured by Kristen Hall

One out of every four women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. I am one of them.

(FYI: So my first blog post is a little bit heavy, but this topic has been weighing on my heart for a while… )

The moment you find out you are pregnant, emotions of all sorts are racing through your body; whether that be excitement, fear, shock, or “how the hell did this happen?”. You have it set in your mind that, in nine months, that you will have a little one in your arms.


When I found out I was pregnant, I was overwhelmed with various emotions. Thoughts began racing through my head:”Is this real?””How am I going to afford this?””I can’t believe it, but I’m going to be a mom. My dream come true.”

The first thing I did was call one of my best friends at the time. “Natalie, I’m literally shaking – you will never believe this but I just took a pregnancy test and its positive.” I was so excited I asked Natalie to help me surprise my husband with the news.

We tricked him into taking a quick photo shoot. At one point, Nat asked us to write a message to each other on a piece of paper. Then she would take a picture of us reading our messages. On my paper, I wrote “You are going to be a daddy!” When my husband saw this message, he was so happy and squeezed me tight. We were finally going to start that family both of us wanted.

The following week, I began feeling nauseous and my breasts started hurting. Oh the joys of pregnancy. But – I was still excited because I was pregnant! I began thinking of all the ways to tell the people I love.

Then came week six. I was in my classroom at the time and I started getting cramps. My eyes started to water. I quickly grabbed my assistant and said “I need you to cover for me.” I ran to the bathroom and realized I was bleeding.

My world began to shatter. I called the OBGYN office and they were absolutely no help. I left work and ran to the store to get a pregnancy test. I waited for some time and then took the test – “Not pregnant.”

I felt like a failure. My one job was to carry this baby to term and I had failed. My husband consoled me for the first week, and then began breaking down himself. It hit us so hard, neither one of us really wanted to try again.

I went through a deep depression. Acting out, not really caring about my job, drinking, getting high on anxiety medicine, and isolating myself from the world. It took months to realize a miscarriage is a common occurrence. 1 out of every 4 people will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. That is 25% of the population! That statistic was in an odd way comforting because I realized I was not alone. Once I began talking about my experience, many of my friends and family disclosed that they too had a miscarriage.
After months of healing, I began to question “why”. Why are people so quiet about miscarriage?

Then I thought about the pain – re-living the pain is brutal. It doesn’t matter how many weeks you are, you still have it in your head that you are having a baby. Most people also don’t know what to say. The last thing I wanted to hear was “You can try again”, but how do you explain that to someone when you are hurting?

Fast forward two years and I am here… still wanting a baby but knowing that it is in the power of God. His timing will be perfect. Right now, I am meant to grow.
Part of that growth is educating and consoling others. If you suffered a miscarriage, the most important thing I want you to know if that you are not alone. I am as real as it gets. I don’t hide my life experiences because I believe it can help someone else.

It is okay to get help. It is okay to say I am not okay, and I need someone to listen. It is not okay to stay in the pain and wallow in it (which is essentially what I did for a good six months). Somewhere along the road, society has spread the message that miscarriage is something to be ashamed of. Society teaches us to publicly celebrate our pregnancies, but when a tragedy occurs to hide it by crying alone in the bathroom and dealing privately with the massive hole that is now left in your heart. The problem with this? You begin to feel like something is wrong with you.

That is why I choose to talk about it. Miscarriage needs to be talked about, because we are not alone! I want you to know there is nothing wrong with you. You did not fail. God has a plan for you; it just might not be the plan you had envisioned.

I thought having a baby would save my marriage. I thought it was the perfect thing to bring my husband and me together. God was trying to tell me that is not the answer.
That was hard to swallow.

Does my miscarriage still haunt me? Of course it does, but I also know the only thing I can do is move forward. Blaming myself will not change the circumstance. It only makes it harder to accept.

This is why it is time to talk about it. Miscarriage should not be a taboo topic. Women need to come together and support each other. We are meant to do life together. Let’s build each other up and make each other stronger.

#miscarriage #1in4 #youarenotalone #infantloss #anxiety #fear #dbt #strength #inspirational #motivational #yoga #affirmations #mindfullness #mentalhealth #endthestigma #wellnesswarrior #wellness #wellnessadvocate #wellnessmatters #reachout #mentalhealthawareness #youarenotalone #mentalhealthblog #mhbloggers #mhblogger #mhblog #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietyrecovery #anxietysupport #anxietyfighter #anxietytips #anxietydisorders #recovery