It’s crazy to think I am thirty years old – not because I think it is an old age, but rather because time is going so insanely fast. One moment we are all graduating high school and the next, everyone is settling down in their careers and building a family of their own.
To celebrate this monumental age, I wanted to share thirty lessons I have learned along the way. Some I wish I had known (or come to realize) sooner!
Hint: You might recognize some of these lessons as topics of previous blog posts.
Mindset is everything. A negative mindset will keep you from reaching your full potential in life. A positive mindset will make you unstoppable! Force yourself to challenge your thoughts, and say positive things to yourself like you would to a friend.
Friends come, and friends go. Life is always evolving. Some people may be here for a season or some for a lifetime. Either way, chances are there is a lesson attached.
Change is always possible. Never settle. You are never stuck if you don’t want to be.
Toxic is toxic. Set boundaries for yourself and keep them.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Each of us have different experiences in life that make up who we are. Your path is unique to you.
Be transparent. Be real. Share your story with others, even if it is scary. You never know who you may inspire.
Fall seven times, get up eight. Keep going.
Self-love and compassion are essential.
Be around like-minded people and people who share the same vision as you.
Don’t rush time. Time goes fast. Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones.
Be mindful who you take advice from.
Learn to take constructive criticism so that you are able to grow.
Be open-minded. Try to see situations from all angles.
Feel your emotions, don’t run from them. When you try to numb pain, it just manifests into something negative. Allow yourself to feel and heal from what is hurting you.
Love the people that support you.
Time helps to heal. It doesn’t erase memories; it just makes them easier to grasp.
Complaining about everything will not help solve your problems.
Never work for money, work for your passion.
Take educated risks. Do your research, but do not be afraid to change things up.
Work out to make your body stronger, not because you feel like you have to look a certain way.
Do some type of personal growth daily – whether it is reading, journaling, yoga, etc.
Gossiping is useless and hurtful. Challenge yourself not to engage in it.
Listen more, talk less.
Speak up for yourself and for those you love.
Travel – see how differently the world is beyond your world.
Give back to the community, whether it is charity work or fundraisers. Think beyond just you.
Worry less about what others think and worry more about what God has placed on your heart.
Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.
Don’t worry so much about the past. It is done and over with. You can’t go back – you can only make this moment and beyond count.
You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. Happiness comes from within.
Behind me is a track. Let’s pretend it’s the track of life. You can either run it or you can stand back and watch. Who do you let control your life? Are you in control or are you letting life just happen?
You are not meant to stay stuck in life. Your mindset has a huge impact on that track. If you want all life had to offer, you need to BELIEVE you deserve that. It’s called the law of attraction. What you send out into the universe is what you get back. So if you want to run that track and take control of your life, the time is NOW! ⭐️
How do you get started? Honestly, you just start. Wherever you are, whatever circumstance – the first step is to just decide you want something different.
The next step – take action! It can be small steps, but start doing life differently. Whether that means getting up thirty minutes earlier to do personal growth or standing in front of a mirror and saying daily affirmations. You need to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.
Happy and successful people did not just start out that way. They had setbacks. They had times they wanted to quit. The only different is they stuck toward their goal. You have the power within you to be who you want to be. You just have to stay on that track and be mindful of your thoughts and actions. Believe you can, and you will.
“A lot of the time, what holds us back and keeps us trapped is the thought that we aren’t the sort of person who can succeed.”
As our souls enter into this world, each individual is born with a pre-designed purpose. As we grow and learn from experiences, we begin to recognize what our soul aligns with.
Often times, there are barriers. These barriers could be exterior – such as financial or situational – or these barriers could be created by our own mind, in which we stop ourselves due to self-doubt or fear of judgment.
Whether it be external factors or internal, it is vital to recognize what is holding you back. Force yourself to slow down and STOP – stop and reflect, “Am I reaching my fullest potential?”
The mind is a very powerful thing. Sometimes we become immune to the negative comments we say to ourselves, not realizing the damage it will cause.
I am the QUEEN of negative self-talk, and am just now learning how to break it. Since I was little, I always had the idea in my head that I was never enough. This was not something that was ever said to me, but more or less something I inflicted on myself. The idea of perfection was the overlying dark cloud that would follow me from childhood to adulthood. I had talents, but I could never rise to that top level where I wanted to be. As a result, I would tell myself “You are not good enough.”
Here’s the problem – I quit a lot of things because I felt “I was not good enough” and – the truth is – if I had given myself more time, I probably would have succeeded in one of the many things I quit.
So now I ask you – what is holding you back? What is it that you really desire and what is stopping you from getting there?
“The idea is to write your affirmation on a piece of paper and place it underneath your pillow before you fall asleep.”
Okay, so I cannot claim”The Pillow Method” as my idea – I want to put that out there first and foremost. However, I think the whole concept is an amazing idea and I wanted to share!
As stated in the quote above, “the idea is to write your affirmation on a piece of paper and place it underneath your pillow before you fall asleep.” The reason for this? The moment you fall asleep and the moment you wake up are two crucial times in the day that impact our thinking. It is important to set the right intention to avoid unwanted and negative thought patterns, and to start retraining your brain to think positively.
Why specifically is this effective?
You are allowing your last thoughts of the day to be positive. This can have a positive effect on your dream cycle and also allow you to carry that attitude to the next day. I mean think about it this way – how often do nightmares come from thoughts or events occurring prior to sleeping?
Setting your intention before bed also helps you “rewire subconscious thought patterns” as you sleep. All those underlying thoughts that may be negative, this will help you retrain your brain overtime as you set a new intention for your life.
As you are falling asleep, it is almost like you are “letting go” of any resistance to your desire/affirmation. Let those negative thoughts just float away as you drift asleep and just allow yourself to focus on your goal. Like I stated in a previous blog, there is such thing as the law of attraction. Your positive thoughts can have a huge impact on your outlook and what you achieve.
**The Pillow Method was an idea posted on moderndaymanifestations.com. **
“As I get older, I am becoming more selective of who I consider a friend. I find that I would rather have four quarters than 100 pennies”
One of the hardest things about life is “change”. It is unavoidable and honestly a natural occurrence here on Earth. As you travel throughout the different phases of your life, your surroundings also change. People in your life may move, pass away, or just continue on a journey that is different from yours. One of my biggest challenges has been letting people go. Since I was a young girl, I always wanted to be the girl that everybody liked, the girl who was kind to all, and the one who never let anyone down. To some degree, I still feel this way.
But — can I say — how unrealistic this is? No matter what you do, you cannot make everyone happy. And honestly if you try, you will be burnt out and anxiety ridden. It has taken me a long time to realize this and I fight this concept in my head almost everyday.
About two years, I lost about 3-4 close friends if not more. I was at the lowest point in my life. I couldn’t take care of anyone anymore because I could barely take care of myself. And for some people, this is a complete deal breaker especially if they are going through something similar in their own life. My marriage was failing, I was verbally abused daily, I recently miscarried, and I felt stuck – I could not see how to pull myself out of the misery. I became a person I didn’t even know anymore. I started drinking heavily, not eating, getting high on anxiety meds, and doing basically anything destructive to run from my life. I was too scared of what was on the other side, even though I really had nothing to lose. I literally went day to day wishing I could run away or just not live life anymore. I had a couple close friends at the time that then slowly disappeared because they “could not handle my shit” – and yes I was really told that. It broke me in ways I cannot describe because the last thing I wanted was to be considered a selfish person. But honestly, in that time I needed to be selfish to get my shit together. I wasn’t me anymore.
Once I started to find myself again, I went back to my friends who had distanced themselves at the time. I wanted to try to mend things. Unfortunately, those relationships were unmendable in most circumstances.
I don’t blame them necessarily, which I’m sure will surprise you because it surprised me! But, bottom line is this — We all need to protect ourselves FIRST and foremost. Now to the classic plane scenario to prove my point. When there is turbulence on a plane, the flight attendant tells you to put the mask on yourself first before attempting to mask another. That is because you need to be able to breathe clearly if you are going to be any use to someone else.
In retrospect, we are all human so I would be lying if I said it was hard not to take this personally. My heart felt so empty. I blamed myself for the longest time. Then one day, I decided to #1 acknowledge what happened #2 admit there were times I was wrong and #3 forgive myself for something I could not go back and change.
The thing to remember is there is a purpose for every person you meet – whether they stay for a season, a couple days, or a lifetime. At the end of the day, you cannot make someone see something they don’t want to see. You also can’t force an apology down someone’s throat. All you can do is put your heart out there, apologize, and move on. Trust the process. And whether they are in your life or not, the most important thing to do for your own sanity and heart is to wish them well.