Tag: self care

Dear Me: I forgive you.

by Kristen Hall

Sometimes in order to heal, we have to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and mistakes. The hard part is “how”.

In my experience, the first step is acknowledging whatever it is that is keeping you stuck. That moment in time doesn’t have to be acknowledged to anyone but yourself. It just has to be present so that you can finally move forward.

Let yourself feel the feeling you don’t want to feel. It is easy to numb the pain. However, by numbing your emotions, you do not allow yourself to heal. Feeling – while uncomfortable at times – allows you to grow and gain resilience.

Once you acknowledge the event and allow yourself to truly feel the emotions that come with it, it is time to let it go. Close your eyes, and picture that horrible feeling in a balloon. See yourself holding that balloon and then letting it slip away into the universe – never to be seen again.

Below is the message that was inside my imaginery balloon:

Dear Me,

Two and half years ago you were a hot mess. You were so focused on saving someone else’s life that you forgot your own self-worth, and ultimately the destruction that it was doing to your own life. I know you were in pain and just trying to stay afloat, but I was mad at you for that unrecognizable person you had become in order to juggle your pain .

Yet – at the same time – I have begun to realize how hard I was on you; you needed someone to be cheering you on, not someone tearing you down. I beat us up more than anyone ever could.

I forgive you for the mistakes you made and I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry you felt like you desperately had to fix others, when your own hands were bleeding. I’m sorry I did not love you the way you deserved to be loved. I realize I caused our own destruction by not seeing self-care as a priority.

I promise to do a better job at putting you first, especially at times when I am feeling too much of my surroundings.

It’s time and I’m ready.

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Healthy Habits to Improve Your Life

by Kristen Hall

It takes 21 days to create a habit, and 90 days to create a lifestyle.

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You know you are unhappy. Now what?

First off, you are not alone. I have been there. There is nothing wrong with feeling hopeless. It is a human emotion that is much more common than others let on. The key is not to stay there. It can be crippling to continue to think nothing will change and that you are “stuck”. The longer you are there, the longer it will take you to get out of it.

My suggestion? Start with little changes and stick with them no matter how impossible it might feel some days. You may not think these habits are not making a difference but keep this fact in your head – it takes 21 days to create a habit, and 90 days to create a lifestyle. It takes time. You have to retrain your brain to see the positive.

I have listed 20 healthy habits below that seem subtle and perhaps pointless, but can make a huge difference over time. I challenge you to begin mastering a few of these habits and see how your life transforms.

  1. Practice gratitude. Perhaps start a gratitude journal and add to it before you go to bed?
  2. Value your alone time. Use this time to recharge. Meditate.
  3. Make time for your loved ones. Let them be your support in times of need.
  4. Prioritize self-care.
  5. Learn from your failures and do not be afraid of failing.
  6. Write out your goals, post it somewhere visible to you, and make little steps toward them daily.
  7. Read self-help books or daily devotions.
  8. Drink more water. Ideally you should be drinking half your body weight.
  9. Be active for at least 30 minutes a day.
  10. Communicate. You need something? Ask!
  11. Declutter the space around you. Believe it or not, an organized room can actually do a lot for one’s psyche because it is something you can control in a healthy way.
  12. Get enough sleep (7-9 hours ideally). You will be amazed how much better you feel when your body is rested. Remember, this is your body’s healing time.
  13. Journal – get those feelings out.
  14. Eat real food. When you get the right food in your body, you will be amazed how much better you feel.
  15. Make it a routine to take a break from social media. The “perfect” life portrayed on social media is so far from the truth. It can be damaging to think you have to achieve such an unrealistic goal.
  16. Learn to forgive.
  17. Practice daily affirmations.
  18. Belly laugh often! It is shown to enhance a person’s mood.
  19. Be in direct sunlight as often as possible. Lack of Vitamin D alone can make you depressed. Enjoy time outdoors when the weather permits.
  20. Practice non-judgement listening

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