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Self-Discipline Reminders

When I start to feel off-balance, it is often because I have begun to skip the activities on my Self-Discipline tactics I am about to list. While I know it is counter-productive, the pattern is so easy to get trapped into. It starts with (a) getting overwhelmed then (b) crawling up on the couch and vegging and then (c) sleep and repeat.

Once I do this for more than one day, I find myself getting stuck and it is very hard to get unstuck – especially with the chronic pain I suffer from. For you, it may be pain as well that stops you or it might be just negative thoughts – which can be just as exhausting.

I am hoping this list will serve as a good reminder of your projected daily goals. You can alter it slightly to fit what works for you. The point is to at least have a list that you can refer to when you start to feel yourself feel off balance. A good tip is to read through them in the morning (out loud) so that the universe can hear your intention. As I have stated before, what you put into the universe usually cycles back around to you.

  1. Wake up on Time (or even earlier). Set an alarm and get up when your alarm goes off. Just by doing that simple task, you are inserting your drive to succeed. It takes self-discipline to get up on time or even early.
  2. Daily Exercise. It does not have to be crazy but MOVE. When we move, we release endorphins which helps with depression and anxiety. My personal goal (beyond daily exercise) is to exercise for thirty min. five times a week.
  3. Eat Healthy. When we eat crap food, we often feel crappy inside. When I am consistent with my macro counting, my energy levels increase and I generally feel happier. You can enjoy a piece of chocolate or a cookie every now and then, but try to watch your overall consumption.
  4. Follow-Through. Self-discipline is often in the follow-through. This does not mean saying yes to everything. What it means is if you do commit to something, try to keep that commitment.
  5. Avoid Temptation. A great way to build self-discipline is to avoid things you know you don’t want. For example, if you know your overall goal is to eat healthy, don’t buy doughnuts.
  6. Show Respect Toward Others. Being kind can have a ripple effect. Control your inner anger/frustration and choose to be respectful toward others, even if they are not that way toward you. Take the higher road.
  7. Personal Growth Time. Give yourself at least fifteen minutes a day to do personal growth, whether that is reading, listening to a podcast, or writing in a journal.
  8. Meet Deadlines, AKA: Don’t Procrastinate. You have to do something? Just do it. Don’t put it off because you don’t feel like it.

#selfdiscipline #selfcare #selflove #motivation #fitness #discipline #martialarts #selfdefense #selfconfidence #focus #hardwork #mindset #dedication #kickboxing #lifestyle #believe #goals #selfimprovement #meditation #love #life #fitnessjourney #selfdiscovery #fitnessmotivation #inspiration #selfawareness #selfmotivation #beltpromotion #getwisdom #bhfyp

Dear Me: I forgive you.

Sometimes in order to heal, we have to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and mistakes. The hard part is “how”.

In my experience, the first step is acknowledging whatever it is that is keeping you stuck. That moment in time doesn’t have to be acknowledged to anyone but yourself. It just has to be present so that you can finally move forward.

Let yourself feel the feeling you don’t want to feel. It is easy to numb the pain. However, by numbing your emotions, you do not allow yourself to heal. Feeling – while uncomfortable at times – allows you to grow and gain resilience.

Once you acknowledge the event and allow yourself to truly feel the emotions that come with it, it is time to let it go. Close your eyes, and picture that horrible feeling in a balloon. See yourself holding that balloon and then letting it slip away into the universe – never to be seen again.

Below is the message that was inside my imaginery balloon:

Dear Me,

Two and half years ago you were a hot mess. You were so focused on saving someone else’s life that you forgot your own self-worth, and ultimately the destruction that it was doing to your own life. I know you were in pain and just trying to stay afloat, but I was mad at you for that unrecognizable person you had become in order to juggle your pain .

Yet – at the same time – I have begun to realize how hard I was on you; you needed someone to be cheering you on, not someone tearing you down. I beat us up more than anyone ever could.

I forgive you for the mistakes you made and I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry you felt like you desperately had to fix others, when your own hands were bleeding. I’m sorry I did not love you the way you deserved to be loved. I realize I caused our own destruction by not seeing self-care as a priority.

I promise to do a better job at putting you first, especially at times when I am feeling too much of my surroundings.

It’s time and I’m ready.


#selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #forgiveness #wellbeing #instagood #threads #bhfyp

30 Years: 30 Life Lessons

It’s crazy to think I am thirty years old – not because I think it is an old age, but rather because time is going so insanely fast. One moment we are all graduating high school and the next, everyone is settling down in their careers and building a family of their own.

To celebrate this monumental age, I wanted to share thirty lessons I have learned along the way. Some I wish I had known (or come to realize) sooner!

Hint: You might recognize some of these lessons as topics of previous blog posts.

  1. Mindset is everything. A negative mindset will keep you from reaching your full potential in life. A positive mindset will make you unstoppable! Force yourself to challenge your thoughts, and say positive things to yourself like you would to a friend.
  2. Friends come, and friends go. Life is always evolving. Some people may be here for a season or some for a lifetime. Either way, chances are there is a lesson attached.
  3. Change is always possible. Never settle. You are never stuck if you don’t want to be.
  4. Toxic is toxic. Set boundaries for yourself and keep them.
  5. Stop comparing yourself to others. Each of us have different experiences in life that make up who we are. Your path is unique to you.
  6. Be transparent. Be real. Share your story with others, even if it is scary. You never know who you may inspire.
  7. Fall seven times, get up eight. Keep going.
  8. Self-love and compassion are essential.
  9. Be around like-minded people and people who share the same vision as you.
  10. Don’t rush time. Time goes fast. Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones.
  11. Be mindful who you take advice from.
  12. Learn to take constructive criticism so that you are able to grow.
  13. Be open-minded. Try to see situations from all angles.
  14. Feel your emotions, don’t run from them. When you try to numb pain, it just manifests into something negative. Allow yourself to feel and heal from what is hurting you.
  15. Love the people that support you.
  16. Time helps to heal. It doesn’t erase memories; it just makes them easier to grasp.
  17. Complaining about everything will not help solve your problems.
  18. Never work for money, work for your passion.
  19. Take educated risks. Do your research, but do not be afraid to change things up.
  20. Work out to make your body stronger, not because you feel like you have to look a certain way.
  21. Do some type of personal growth daily – whether it is reading, journaling, yoga, etc.
  22. Gossiping is useless and hurtful. Challenge yourself not to engage in it.
  23. Listen more, talk less.
  24. Speak up for yourself and for those you love.
  25. Travel – see how differently the world is beyond your world.
  26. Give back to the community, whether it is charity work or fundraisers. Think beyond just you.
  27. Worry less about what others think and worry more about what God has placed on your heart.
  28. Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.
  29. Don’t worry so much about the past. It is done and over with. You can’t go back – you can only make this moment and beyond count.
  30. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. Happiness comes from within.

#selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #skincareroutine #wellbeing #instagood #threads #massage #bhfyp #life #lessons

Improve Your Self-Esteem

After going to a conference a month ago, I decided to pick a word for 2020 that I would force myself to work on throughout the entire year. My word was “confidence”. While it may look like I have a ton of confidence and high self-esteem, it is far from the truth. I do my best to portray confidence, so that in return, I might gain confidence back.

Working out your innermost demons can be a daily struggle, but it is necessary in order to grow. But where do you even begin?

It begins with decision, which is then accompanied by daily ACTION. Mindset is everything when it comes to overcoming negative self-esteem.

Here are some simple tips on how to build self-esteem and gain confidence:

  1. Start your morning out right – Set your intention for the day. Say out loud – in front of a mirror – your affirmations (ex: “I am strong. I am smart. I am a warrior.”)
  2. Stop the negative voices/self-talk – Anytime you hear yourself saying something negative, stop and think about what you are saying. Would you say that to a friend?
  3. Widen your lens – Get out of your own head and body. What good can you do out in the world? Volunteer, hold a door, help a friend, fundraise.
  4. Manage your expectations – What are you asking of yourself? It is good to think big; but in retrospect, keep your goals measurable. Look up “S.M.A.R.T.” goals for more reference.
  5. Don’t compare – Your fifth step cannot be compared to someone’s tenth. There is so much that is unseen and each of our journey’s are different. Stop yourself from trying to compare.
  6. Practice meditation/self-reflecting – Practice for at least 10-15 minutes a day. Slow down your mind by either meditating or doing yoga so that you can release those negative thoughts into the atmosphere.
  7. Reflect, Rather than React – Accept constructive criticism rather than react to it. Let it better you, not tear you down. No one started at the top.
  8. Take risks – Seek out the uncomfortable because ultimately it will help you grow.
  9. List the positive – List out three positive things you did each day.

#selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #skincareroutine #wellbeing #instagood #threads #massage #bhfyp

How Your Core-Conflict Shapes Your Identity

“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.”

William James

One of the coolest things about being a human being is that we are each unique due to our various experiences and circumstances. These layers of influences have shaped our beliefs whether we realize it or not, and have created the person we are today.

This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. While we use our values to have a positive impact on the world, we also have limiting beliefs about ourselves that we have formed from an early age. The negative beliefs, while we try to repress them, are actually working subconsciously throughout our everyday life.

While on a coaching call the other night, my friend pointed out to me that I had a pattern – a pattern that was influenced by something called a “core-conflict”. We began talking it out and I realized that everytime I thought I wasn’t going to succeed in something, I gave up. I wouldn’t let myself completely fail. By doing that, I never let myself completely succeed in something because I stopped anytime a bump in the road came. The road to success is often very bumpy. As Rachel Hollis says, you have to let yourself “fail forward” many times in order to achieve the very thing you want. Success is not linear, but rather a curvy line.

When I realized this talking to my coach, it angered me. I began to think of all the things I quit prematurely – – multiple sports, swimming, acting, singing, piano lessons, and dance. I asked her, “Well I just don’t understand…when did I start feeling ‘not good enough’? What was the turning point and why did I feel like I needed to protect myself?”

Her response – “Your core-conflict is often shaped by an event in your childhood (sometime between the ages of two and six) and then continues to fester over time. The good thing is you can rewrite your story. You just have to face it head on.”

I think back and it’s amazing to see how that core-conflict of mine negatively affected my identity and how I went about doing things. To be completely honest and transparent – there have been many times even recently when I thought “what’s the point of my blog and what’s the point of Arbonne – I’m not really helping anyone anyway.” Even though this is not completely true, it “feels” true and it feels safe to take the easy way out. “I can’t fail this way” is what I tell myself. But, in reality the only way I do fail is by quitting.

I know in my heart that God has a huge purpose for me. As I sit here writing this, I know that if I were to continue down this path of self-destruction, my potential would not be met and the people I want to help will never be helped. I have learned I need to trust myself, as I begin to rewrite my story. Trust what I know to be true, and allow those bumps in the road to happen.

According to the Law of Attraction (which I have discussed in my blog before), what you send out into the universe is what you get back. In other words, “believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact.” So if I am to rewrite my story and send positivity out into the world, I must first start by abandoning my core-conflict and allowing myself to feel the emotions connected with failure. By doing that, I will have to practice seeing these experiences as opportunities to practice mindfulness and self-development rather than times that I am “not good enough”.

Whatever your core-conflict is, I challenge you to do some self-reflecting as well. It will hurt to uncover the past and it will be challenging to relearn a new truth about yourself. But I guarantee you it will be worth it. Your purpose is just waiting for you to discover.


#healing #love #meditation #selflove #health #wellness #selfcare #yoga #energy #mentalhealth #spirituality #spiritual #mindfulness #peace #crystals #nature #reiki #motivation #life #inspiration #spiritualawakening #loveyourself #awakening #recovery #anxiety #therapy #positivevibes #energyhealing #consciousness #bhfyp #coreconflict #fear depression

Judgement – Who is Judging Who

“People will judge you no matter what you do. So you might as well do what you want.”

Unknown

Raise your hand if you ever remember feeling “judged” for something you did, a comment you said, or a decision you made? ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™€๏ธ

I think it is safe to say, we have all been there.

Sometimes these judgements are real and other times they are stories we make up in our own heads. Fact – human beings are judgemental creatures. But, remember, their base of judgement is rooted from how they view the world. It has nothing to do with you.

Each human is different, made up of their own experiences and values that tell them how the world should be. That does not mean everything they believe is correct. If we constantly worry about how others will perceive us, we will STOP ourselves from becoming the very person we were meant to become. Opportunities that could open up the world for us will never blossom because we didn’t even allow ourselves to open the door.

Here’s the truth – 75% of the time, the judgements we feel are thoughts we made up and told ourselves to believe. I say that because EVERYONE is worried about being judged – to the point where they are mainly thinking about how others are perceiving them. They are not worried about you as much as you feel like they are.

We spend hours criticizing ourselves, when they spend – what – like a second thinking about us regarding something that has no truth attached to it?

It is easy to get paralyzed with fear in hopes of fitting in or being accepted by others. But here’s the catch – others do not get to define who we are; WE define who we are.

Yes, I’m weird. I’m quirky. I’m a Philly Sports phanatic, not girly girl. I am a homebody who loves her fur babies, and I am definitely not a partier. I enjoy board games and being at the beach. I love helping people and I believe that I am here for a bigger purpose than just me. Not all these statements I like about myself, but I am learning to accept them because that is who God made me to be.

People will always have opinions and that is their right. But YOU get to decide how YOU show up each and every day. Are you going to hold yourself back because of your perceived opinion or others’ perceived opinions? Or are you going to push through and show others what’s possible when you just go for it and be you?

Show them what it means to be you. Live your life on your terms. Don’t let other opinions define who you are. Then start a ripple effect – try your best to judge people a little less because you know what it is like to feel judged yourself.

I guarantee you will inspire people without even knowing about it. So go out, BE BOLD, BE YOU.


#judgement #keepgoing #motivation #holistic #mentalhealth #fear #anxiety #depression #strength #courage #strong #inspiration #health #healthymind

The Track of Life

Behind me is a track. Letโ€™s pretend itโ€™s the track of life. You can either run it or you can stand back and watch. Who do you let control your life? Are you in control or are you letting life just happen?

You are not meant to stay stuck in life. Your mindset has a huge impact on that track. If you want all life had to offer, you need to BELIEVE you deserve that. Itโ€™s called the law of attraction. What you send out into the universe is what you get back. So if you want to run that track and take control of your life, the time is NOW!ย โญ๏ธ

How do you get started? Honestly, you just start. Wherever you are, whatever circumstance – the first step is to just decide you want something different.

The next step – take action! It can be small steps, but start doing life differently. Whether that means getting up thirty minutes earlier to do personal growth or standing in front of a mirror and saying daily affirmations. You need to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

Happy and successful people did not just start out that way. They had setbacks. They had times they wanted to quit. The only different is they stuck toward their goal. You have the power within you to be who you want to be. You just have to stay on that track and be mindful of your thoughts and actions. Believe you can, and you will.


#mindful #life #inspiration #motivation #bossbabes #keepgoing #determination #success #health #mindset

Intro to Clean Eating

This is the beginning of the recipes section of my website! A new tab will be made on the homepage to display some of my personal favorite clean eating recipes.

Part of “Holistic Living” is living to the best of your ability physically, as well as mentally. When you eat clean – riding of processed foods and common allergens, you will notice an increase in your energy levels and a boost of overall well-being. This does not mean the occasionally pizza or ice cream will damage you, I want to make that clear! But living that 80-20 lifestyle, will allow you to focus primarily on your health without totally riding your cravings.

Remember – it takes 21 days to make something a habit. Don’t give up!!

Here are some tips to eating clean and increasing health:

  1. Load up on veggies – Most of us lack fruits and veggies in our diet and do not get enough on a daily basis. Try to increase your intake by adding a little more to each meal. Half your dinner at night should be veggies. If you are still struggling, check out a supplement to help add the minerals/vitamins. Greens Balance is my go-to choice.
  2. Try to limit your gluten intake for thirty days. See if it makes a difference in your digestion. Some have sensitives with gluten and don’t even know it. If you are okay with gluten, switch to whole grain breads.
  3. Eat more lean meat – such as turkey, fish, chicken, and grass-fed beef.
  4. Limit processed foods. Processed foods often have a lot of sugar or sodium and are high in calories and lack nutrients.
  5. Add more protein in your diet. I personally find it hard to eat enough protein during the day, which is why I makes shakes in the morning with protein powder and a protein boost.
  6. Limit dairy and soy intake. Dairy is another common allergen that causes problems without us knowing it. It is highly inflammatory, it’s acid-forming, and its full of hormones.
  7. Stay mindful of added sugar and added salt. These are called micronutrients, and we often neglect to look at them. We think carbs, fats, calories, and protein – but sugar intake and sodium intake are important as well. Try to keep it at a consistent level, where they are not spiking.
  8. Consider supplements for certain vitamins/minerals you are low on. I have heard so many people say no before really considering the benefit it has for your body. If you are one who doesn’t like to eat a lot or is against veggies, adding a nutritionally-dense supplement is not a bad thing. In fact, it allows you to meet your goal without feeling miserable about it. Like I said, I would never personally meet my protein goal without a protein supplement.

If you are interested in a 30 day clean eating challenge with daily education and coaching, feel free to send me an email.

In the meantime, look for a recipes section to come!


#cleaneating #healthy #health #veggies #vegan #cleaneatingchallenge #fit #fitness #motivation #fitspiration #motivation

Success: The Iceberg Illusion

“Achievements and success often blind us so that we often are not even aware of the huge efforts that were necessary to make these outcomes possible.”

Katelyn Shelby, Blogger

The iceberg illusion highlights the difference between what you see and what you don’t see when it comes to achieving success. While it is not an original concept of mine, I wanted to share it because I personally refer back to it to remind myself success takes time.

I want you to think of an iceberg. The first thing you probably think of is the top of the iceberg sticking out of the water. But, truth is, there is also a bottom. A bottom that goes deep down in the cold, icy waters.

Just like many of us tend to think about the top of the iceberg rather than the whole iceberg itself, many of us see success the same way. We forget the hard work, the dedication, the failures, the disappointments, and all the sacrifice that happens when you are working toward a goal.

It is so easy to see a successful person and think “I wish I was them. They have life easy.” However, in stating this, we aren’t acknowledging what it took for that person to get where they are in life.

Eminem and Jennifer Lopez are two good examples of this. They have achieved much success in their careers, but they both had challenging upbringings in rough neighborhoods. They could have easily given up because their situation looked grim. In fact, JLo still stayed focused on her dream even when her mother kicked her out of the house, and had nowhere to go. Talk about perseverance! Most of us don’t know that, because we focus on the here and now. It’s almost as if it has been built into our culture.

We are in a microwave era, as I like to call it – where instant gratification is what we want, and what we expect. We have to challenge this thought and change our mindset. While we cannot always see all of the efforts of a successful person firsthand, we have to remember the efforts that are hidden below the surface.

Success only comes through hard work and to those who are consistent and patience. So, the next time you start doubting yourself remember that success is not a linear path. Failure is not falling short of your goal. The only way you can fail is if you quit.

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#success #selflove #motivation #inspiration #keepgoing #determination #bloggers #bossbabes

The Truth Behind Eating Disorders

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#Regram via @kmstobbe

“Choosing to engage in binging, extreme dieting, purging and other obsessive behaviors relating to body image and weight loss are attempts to โ€œself-treatโ€ their lack of control in other aspects of their life where they have no control.”

Psychology Today, Kristen Fuller M.D.

One of the biggest misconceptions about Eating Disorders are that they are about food/body image. While they may start out that way, they often spiral into a totally different monster.

When I was thirteen, I started to gain weight due to antidepressants. It hit me heavily as it was just another insecurity that was added to my plate.

Over the next three years, I began to slowly lose weight due to smaller portions and a lovely VHS tape that had a pilates routine I could do everyday. I worked really hard that last summer when I was sixteen and I was finally back to where I was before the antidepressants.

When I got back to school that fall, I began getting compliments from peers and teachers. “Did you lose weight? You look good.” You want to know what that translated to me: “You looked horrible before. You weren’t good enough. Clearly they notice you if you lose weight…maybe I need to keep going?”

While those comments from others were well intended, my brain was now connecting my value as a human being to what I looked like. Dangerous combination.

In addition, my life was starting to feel out of control so my weight/food intake felt like one thing I could manage. At the time, my dad was beginning to develop dementia due to his older age. This was something I knew that was going to happen, but definitely not something a sixteen-year-old is ready to handle. I felt like I couldn’t relate to anyone, which made school particularly challenging socially. I was not as outgoing as my brother, and instead focused on a few close friendships and on my schoolwork. The school I went to was super competitive and would always focus on those top students. Looking back all of us were smart for even being in that school – but at the time, I felt dumb as shit (excuse my language!). So again, this just led me back to focusing on something I could control – my weight.

As I let my eating disorder mind grow and my self-worth diminish, I went downhill fast and continued to struggle for years after that. It wasn’t until I met a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapist) specialist at my college that I started to realize my ED was deeper rooted than just food and looks. Inside I was struggling. I wanted control, I wanted “perfection”, and I wanted to feel like I was worth something. It is never about “just eating” or stopping whatever ED behaviors are occurring, because the bottom line is: food is not the problem. As Dr. Kristen Fuller states, “choosing to engage in binging, extreme dieting, purging and other obsessive behaviors relating to body image and weight loss are attempts to ‘self-treat’ their lack of control in other aspects of their life where they have no control.” DBT helped me see the facts, instead of letting my thoughts become my reality.

Before this switch takes place, it is almost like you are fighting against this unknown entity inside of you – telling you how worthless you are. Jenni Schaefer, an eating disorder survivor and author, uses her book “Life Without Ed” as a way to show others how much an eating disorder can distort your mind and become almost like an abusive boyfriend rather than a condition. Your mind becomes super focused on these negative thoughts that you lose sight of reality.

This is why eating disorder patients often seek in-patient treatment more than once. If you are not ready to challenge your thoughts (which – let’s be honest – we all run from everyday), you will not recover. You might go through the motions, but true recovery happens when you find something more important than your eating disorder – which takes more than “just eating” to do.

When you realize your eating disorder is serving a deeper meaning in your life, you now have the power to challenge it and to heal those untrue “truths” you set for yourself. No one is a lost cause.


#eatingdisorder #anorexia #bulimia #binge #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #selfcare #neda #nevergiveup #anorexiarecovery #recovery #edwarrior #bodypositivity #ednos #loveyourself #selfcare #selflove #love #skincare #mentalhealth #wellness #beauty #loveyourself #health #mindfulness #motivation #healing #meditation #mentalhealthawareness #yoga #fitness #inspiration #anxiety #positivevibes #healthylifestyle #selfcarethreads #life #relax #happiness #skincareroutine #wellbeing #instagood #threads #massage #bhfyp